Officer: We have a report of a missing person?
17-year-old son: Yeah. Our mom. Have you seen my keys? And when you find her, tell her we have like nothing to eat in this house.
Officer: Son, I have no idea where your keys are. Have you checked your jeans pocket?
14-year-old son: Hey, I need a ride to soccer practice.
Officer: Maybe if you help me locate your mom, she can take you?
14-year-old: Maybe, or I could just ride with you.
Officer (taking out a pad of paper): How about you tell me where you last saw her.
14-year-old: I dunno. Probably when she dropped me off at school.
Officer: Isn't it close enough for you to walk?
14-year-old: I guess. She doesn't mind driving me though.
Officer (noticing young girl tugging on his gun holster): Hey, don't touch that.
5-year-old daughter: Is that real? Can you shoot people like they do on Bones?
Officer: Yes, it's real and I only shoot people when I have to. Can you help me find your mom?
Officer (with pen poised above his tablet): What does she look like?
5-year-old: She's 66 inches tall and weighs 118 pounds. She has hazel eyes and brown hair.
Officer: Her eyes are hazel?
5-year-old: Yes, I look in them every day. I know what color they are.
Officer: Any idea where she might be?
5-year-old: She's always home, but you might find her eating lasagna and wearing purple. Please find her. She's very lovable.
Officer: I'll do my best.