Here Mousey, Mousey, Mousey

Lately we’ve been enjoying the late-night antics of a mouse that runs along our backyard fence. My husband first spotted it as it ate from the birdfeeder that’s mounted on our fence. Then our dog noticed it and decided that the evil mouse should be driven from the yard. But since the fence runs along a brick wall, his chase ends when the fence gets too high.

The other night we had some friends over and they too enjoyed the fun game of dog vs. mouse-on-a-fence. So cute. So desperate are we for entertainment, apparently.

And then my son discovered a mouse in the garage. It had taken refuge under the freezer. Just for the record, this is the level of my mouse tolerance: Mouse on fence—kinda cute. Mouse in garage—kinda creepy. It was time to bring out the big guns. Or at least a few traps.

So I put “mouse traps” on my shopping list and headed to the store. After ten minutes of trying to decide if I should poison it, snap its neck, stick it to a glue board, or humanely catch and release it (Yeah, right! Like he wouldn’t come back?), I opted for the traditional spring traps and the jumbo glue boards. (I hid them on the bottom of my cart in case Ms. Fancy Pants saw me and thought I was skanky for having a rodent problem.)

I baited the glue boards with some leftover Halloween candy while my son played launch-the-plastic-lizard with the spring traps. I snatched the traps from him before he could snap a finger and baited them with peanut butter.

Carefully, I laid the glue boards down and then went back in for the snap traps. Of course one went off as I set it down and I nearly wet my pants. If you want to see me die an immediate, painless death, throw a mouse on me. I dare you. I’m sure it would work.

So, I reset the spring trap and went back in the house where it was safe. Fast forward to the next morning. Spring traps are still set, but one glue board is missing. Not a good sign. After some deep breathing in the safe house, I go back out to search for the board that has apparently become a wheel-less skateboard for a giant rat.

I find the glue board wedged under the ball-keeper-cage and look under it to find NO MOUSE. He was so super-strong, he managed to free himself from the glue trap, leaving some hair and footprints behind and now is hiding somewhere, waiting to pounce on me, I’m sure. So now, I’m on the lookout for a patchy-haired rat who doesn’t like peanut butter. Hopefully he’s over at my neighbor’s house. I think they thought he was pretty cute.