Christmas=Weapons

My daughter found this coloring sheet in her desk from last year's Christmas visit to Bass Pro. After complimenting herself on her mad coloring skills, she asked, "How come for a Christmas picture they show a kid with a gun?"

I told her, "Because this is Texas, darlin.'"

Lunch Lessons

I lunched yesterday with the What Women Write group plus Kim's mom, Deb (who is closer to my age than Kim--humbling...). As always, we talked more than we ate, although the chicken crepes were one giant leap into awesomeness as compared to my usual lunch, which typically begins with What doesn't have fuzz on it? and ends with Didn't I just eat this yesterday?

Over lunch I learned:

procrastination must be a common trait among creative types and this applies, not only to writing deadlines, but holiday decorating too. Five of us (including me) do not have our trees up yet.

that we all have our own ideas about how to conduct a gift exchange, but ultimately the loudest (*Elizabeth*) set the rules. I ended up with a much-needed lotion set. Thank you, Kim.

that the best gift to take into a restaurant known for their desserts is probably not a holiday plate with a homemade cake on it. Fortunately Julie did some fast talking and kept me from getting kicked out of the place. And, coincidentally, she wound up with my cake.

the value in sharing about your children's life experiences with others. Not only can you compare your child (who is so similar in personality with a friend's), you can gather wisdom of what she learned parenting him through similar obstacles.

that time flies when you're having lunch and that no matter how many times we meet, we never run out of things to share--although we've reached the point where pretty much nothing is too personal. And it's just fun to see Joan squirm.

about the shots you have to take to travel to South Africa (Susan leaves in January with the Touch a Life Foundation.), and that one side effect is the feeling of loose teeth. Hmmm.

the legalities of taxes and working abroad as an expatriate. (Kim's dad designs golf courses for Robert Trent Jones and lives overseas most of the year.)

that I am abundantly blessed to have such amazing friends and cohorts who share my fondness of writing, reading and experiencing this crazy journey we've embarked upon. And although you might work at home alone, you can still reach out and form a community that makes you feel connected. Even enough to have an "office" Christmas party.

(and that I have an extremely high forehead and should not wear my hair this way.)

I'm Yours

If you ever wondered what Jason Mraz would look and sound like if he were four and Asian, here goes.

A found treasure

About eleven years ago, I found a list that had fallen behind a drawer in the bathroom vanity of a house we had purchased. It was handwritten in at least seven different colors of marker on two pieces of paper. The author would be about 24 years old now, and I'd love to return this to her. I should have hunted down the previous owners and given it to her mom. I'm reproducing it here, with her words and emphasis as she wrote them. I'm betting Katie is a gorgeous, well-groomed confident woman today. Let's hope her boyfriend appreciates all her early efforts.


KATIE'S
Rules and exercises for getting a decent boyfriend, to do every day.


1. Brush teeth after breakfast, after lunch, after dinner, and after snacks.
2. Gargle with your Listerine at all times specified above.
3. Wash and condition your hair every day in the shower, occasionally bath.
4. Wash your skin, top to bottom, every day in the shower, occasionally bath.
5. Brush your hair before, during and after going out or doing anything, but don’t look obsessed with it, so use hair spray, gel and mousse.
6. Wash your face often.
7. Astringent your face morning and night, following directions.
8. Use the Water Pik three times daily.
9. Lotion your face very often with Mama Toto lotion.
10. Powder your face often, but not at night (before you go to bed).
11. Use good eye shadow, mascara, blush, etc.
12. Lotion your entire body, including your neck, morning, afternoon, etc.
13. Wear sensible clothing and always wear a bra, except for in bed.
14. Do not pick any scabs, etc.
15. Keep room very clean all of the time.
16. Eat from all five food groups, and take your vitamins, medicine, etc.
17. Show a positive attitude for everything, even work and waking up.
18. Get plenty of exercise and play, but don’t get dirty.
19. Keep your voice nice and practice.
20. Keep all of your shoes clean.
21. Do not act snobbish.
22. Throw yourself into your schoolwork.
23. Wear your glasses at the appropriate times.
24. Listen to your Classic 99, and keep Titanic music to a minimum.
25. Paint and do your art with fashion, expression, and don’t get mad at it.
26. Lotion your hands like heck every day.
27. Don’t fight with sisters.
28. Go to sleep at 9:30 and wake promptly at 6:00.
29. Keep your head elevated while sleeping and keep cool while sleeping.
30. Always blow your nose and stuff like that. (manners)
31. Practice that darn clarinet a whole ton.
32. Lipstuff your lips often.
33. Get good smelling and clean with perfume, deodorant, etc.
34. Floss, floss, floss your teeth to make your mouth feel clean........
35. Do not break your brackets.
36. Drink tons of water and milk.
37. Save lots of your money.
38. When seeing boys, be not too energetic, but a little laid back and very beautiful.
39. Be only bits flirty, like puffing your hair and look radiant.
40. Give them incessant glances and do help them with things.
41. Practice kissing some.
42. Don’t go too fast.
43. Grow your nails out and don’t bite them.
44. Be kind to everyone and everything.
45. Affectiondize for things.
46. Learn ahead for seventh grade.
47. Do what is needed for your period.
48. Do all of your chores.
49. Work well with your breasts and stuff.
50. Have fun.