Sunday, June 21, 2009

As Seen on TV

My daughter has become a constant source of information. Or rather, info-mation.

Unlike her brothers who zip past commercials while watching television (how did we manage before the DVR?), she sits mesmerized by every ad that comes her way.

Her favorite show du jour is The Magic School Bus. For some reason, Discovery Kids seems to be widely sponsored by those annoying mini-infomercials. Every time she watches an episode, I’m hit with, “Mom, can I have some Bendaroos? They come in magical colors and you can make Bendaroos do almost anything.”

My response: “Put it on your birthday list.” Since her birthday is in July, half the year I tell her to put useless crap on her Christmas list, the other half it goes on the birthday list. The Lists are mostly kept mentally, since, until recently, she couldn’t write them herself, and she’s usually too lazy to get up and find a pencil and paper.

For Mother’s Day, I was gifted with AquaGlobes and a knock-off Slap Chop. Now my plants have a constant source of hydration (when we remember to keep the Globes filled), and anything that was once too big to be chewed safely, can now be chopped into a powdery consistency prior to consumption.

This week she tried to convince me that we needed to book a vacation to a Beaches resort “Before the end of June to take advantage of their special offer,” she said. I told her we’d already been to a Beaches resort. “Yeah, but I was too young to remember it,” she retorted. Not my fault you were born a few years before the economy tanked.

I did break down and buy her a pair of Fun Slides Carpet Skates. I looked them up online, checked the reviews and only one person reported her child’s sliding out of control across the den and crashing through a window. I figure we have some old skateboard padding in the garage we can strap on her. Plus her bike helmet. She should be good for a few rounds through the house.

My only hope is maybe the Fun Slides will keep her too busy to watch TV.


Elizabeth Lynd said...

If anything says "as seen on TV!" on the box, it's pretty much a guarantee I won't buy it. Even if it's something that otherwise sounds pretty good. Just the other day my friend was touting the miracle of the PediEgg (is that what it's called?) and my crusty calloused feet were inching toward it as my eyes grew round watching the pile of dusty skin she dumped from the ovoid wonder--and then she hit me with the bad news. As Seen on TV! Nope, not buying one. Guess the local nail salon just got $30 richer due to my stubborness. And my poor plants will remain parched.

But wait--there's more!

Anonymous said...

Ha.......that sounds just like Abby. She begged me for a "snuggie" because she is so cold all of the time. We also own aquaglobes, bendaroos, pedegg and a fancy paper-cutter.....all compliments of Walgreens "As Seen on TV" aisle!

Kendra said...

She is SO funny!

Susan Poulos said...

My oldest daughter is the same way. She never misses a commerical, and wants everything that she is pitched- except Billy Mayes products- she can't stand him! This is the same child that can sing every word to "free Credit" without missing a beat. Too much TV, maybe, or just a superior memory? Hmmm, not sure.