I can hear you all the way up here

I read this morning how scientists have recorded ‘screams’ from earth that can be heard in space. The theory goes that these chirps and whistles can be heard by any aliens that might be listening. My take is the noises are the collective screams from all the mothers at home with their children over the summer. It’s been weeks now since school let out, and the novelty of having the babies back in the nest has worn off. We’re now pulling our hair out, trying to come up with food they like, crafts to make, and entertainment befitting the assorted children who have landed on our doorsteps today. It’s enough to make us all scream—and knowing the aliens are listening will surely circumvent an invasion anytime soon.